A Redhead's Real Life

14 day manicure: after 12 days

2010-10-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

My last post was about my 14 day manicure. It has been 12 days. I think it has held up pretty decent. I am pretty hard on my nails with washing my hands and using the computer. So despite the fact that my cuticles look horrible, it doesnt really look that bad. It hasnt chipped or flaked at all (hold snarky comments about being a flake).

So friday will be 14 days. Will I get another one? Yes, but probably not at this time, because of the cost I will just do it for special occasions. But I do think that it is a great option to acrylic and gel nails.

So there you have it.

14 day Manicure

2010-10-19T06:22:00.000-07:00

Friday I went and got a manicure and pedicure. I like to keep my toes done (because I cant reach them myself LOL) but I rarely get a manicure. I did have acrylic nails but those are highly illegal here at my work and will immediately get you thrown in nurse jail and your fingers promptly cut off. Not really, but it sounded good.

The real reason I dont get a manicure alot is because my nails are very thin and bendy and peely. This causes the nail polish to chip peel off. A friend of mine told me about this manicure process that lasts for 14 days. Its not acrylic OR gel artificial nails. It is simply a polish that is cured under UV light between layers. What you get is no drying time and nail polish that is supposed to last 14 days.

So I thought "What the heck" and tried it (on my fingers only).

So its been 4 days. So far I am very pleased with the results. It has not chipped at all that I can tell and the polish is still very shiny. My nails are rather short now so they are not very bendy. We will see as they grow out how it holds up. You can tell at the cuticle where they have grown out a bit, which is natural and cant be avoided.

There are a few drawbacks (yeah, I know). There are only a few colors available right now in this polish. I picked a middle of the road pinky-coral color. I think there are about 6 colors. It is also a little more pricey (around $30). But to me if it holds up like they say it will be worth it. Not all nail shops offer this kind of manicure, so you might have to go out of your way to get it. I went to Nail Bar on the Island, which is not your average strip mall manicure joint. Check out their website. If this is not convenient you can check out CND which is the website of the manufacturer and search for other salons that offer it.

I'll keep you posted!

How I met my husband

2010-10-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

It was my 17th birthday. My best friend and my mom had organized sortof a party for me (it was 1984, we rented a VHS movie and ate pizza and had cake). The BFF had invited her crush over, and Big Daddy (well he wasnt Big Daddy yet LOL) tagged along, because SHE was HIS CRUSH! Yeah. The drama.

I'd just broken up with my "its my senior year and I really need a boyfriend" guy because he just wasnt doing it for me. It all started great, he was college age and was really into me. But. He had some fringey religious beliefs that included Sabbath from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown, which really put a damper on football games and general dating. So I had to cut him loose and count my losses.

So the party was a hit. BD was sitting in a chair and I was sitting on the floor next to him and we were all watching the movie. Next thing I know, BD has his finger tracing it lightly just around the edge of my ear. Which causes this kind of reaction:

I dont remember much else about that night, but a few days later he did call me. We ended up dating and got married 5 years later and just celebrated our 20th anniversary in July.

(from the idea bank on www.kludgymom.com)

You Go Girl!

2010-10-10T18:08:00.000-07:00

Happy Columbus Day! Columbus Day is the day we celebrate Christopher Columbus and the discovery of what we now know as North America. But according to
www.gone-ta-pott.com it is also You Go Girl Day! We all know we dont really need an official day to celebrate but IF YOU INSIST! The site says Oct 11 is "a tme to remember the courage of Kathy Sullivan, the first American woman to walk in space. On this day we are encourgaged to appreciate the efforts of 'ALL the women you know.' Well alrighty, here we go:

notmyimage
I want to say You Go Girl to all of the single moms! Im pretty blessed in that I have an awesome husband who takes up my slack with laundry, dishes, homework, etc. But I have several friends who are single moms and I dont see how they do it. Getting up every day and facing the world being a mom alone has got to be scary. There are some things I dont have a clue about that I have to let him handle like car repairs, and some things I just dont like doing like getting on a ladder or doing yardwork. So to all my friends who are single moms I say "YOU GO GIRL!"

Fall! Fall is here! Its fall y'all!

2010-09-29T14:43:00.000-07:00

Finally Mother Nature has joined the chat. She finally changed her front door wreath from summer to fall. She took the watermelon flag down and put up the one with all the pretty leaves and the pumpkin on it. I was about as sick as you could be of the hot weather and the sweating and did I mention the sweating? Yes its hot when you leave at 0450am to go to work and its already 87 degrees outside.

Fall is my favorite time of the whole year. Yeah Christmas yadda yadda. But fall! She is beautiful. The colors, the smells, the feels! It makes me want to run out into the yard and throw my hands up and sing The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music. But that has nothing to do with fall, does it?

I love fall because: There is nothing like a crisp October day with a bright blue sky and fluffy marshmallow creme clouds and a breeze. There is nothing like a hayride and a bonfire with smores and hot chocolate. There is nothing like playing in a big pile of leaves. There is nothing like wearing big fluffy sweaters or your favorite hoodie. There is nothing like a Friday night football game with a marching band (or rather a Friday night marching band with a football game LOL). There is nothing like Thanksgiving, which is all the warm fuzzies of Christmas without the pressure of decorating and all those presents. And! There is nothing like having a birthday in November (it is 9 months from Valentines day, bow chicka wow wow)!

I just hope Mother Nature doesnt play any tricks on us and have a heat wave in October.

Whats in your purse? A post for the men!

2010-09-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

Just so I can accomodate all genders of readers, today Im posting one that will interest all of my male readers (that would be you RevKev):

Azulene Skin Calming Oil

I read about this on another site and instantly thought of Big Daddy. He gets a lot of skin irritation on his chin and upper neck after shaving. This is an oil but it is very light and smells really good. It contains aloe and chamomile and has a light, gentle, fresh smell that is not overpowering. You just put a few tiny drops on your fingers and rub it over your skin after any kind of hair removal (shaving waxing etc). So I went and found some at Sally Beauty Supply (I did have to ask for it but it is in the skin care section) for a little over $6 for a 2oz bottle and in this case a little goes a long way, I would say his bottle lasted about 3-4 months. Big Daddy has been using it and I really can tell a difference. His skin is not as red and bumpy after he shaves. He did tell me also that he put it on his forehead on this one dry spot that he had and it went away! I also read that you can use this to soften your cuticles and keep your heels nice and soft. OH well. I might have to get my own bottle!

Whats in your purse? A reader responds!

2010-09-16T06:46:00.000-07:00

I received this comment on my mascara post (on Facebook) from a friend/reader:
Ok...So, a couple weeks ago I read your blog titled "what's in your purse?". The mascara..AHH!!..sounded exactly like what I'd been searching for for years!! Yesterday, while at Walmart I remembered I was out of mascara but couldn't remember the brand or name of the one you posted about. I stood in the middle of cosmetics for 10 minutes while I hunted your blog on my iphone. :) I used "your" mascara today for the first time. Put it on @ 7am, did church, lunch and nap(!)....when I finally decided to wash my face I noticed there were NO dark circles or flakes under my eyes - unlike what I'd find with everything else I've ever used! Hallelujah!! Now....can you find me a shampoo and conditioner that will give my hair body but not leave it limp/flat/blah by the end of the day? Thankssomuch!!

My response:
Lol! I'm so glad I could help and I'm glad you liked the mascara! I can write about my shampoo and conditioner although it's not "in my purse" but that is only a technicality. Have you tried using a clarifying shampoo once a week? It will remove any buildup that accumulates and might contribute to flat hair syndrome. It might be as simple as using a different brand once a week if you don't want to buy a clarifying one. Thx for your sweet comments.

I know all my male readers (that would be you RevKev) probably just glaze over when they see this title. I do have a few things up my sleeve for the men, just be patient. There are beauty secrets for everyone.

Breaking news: Pale is the new tan.

2010-09-10T04:09:00.000-07:00

Breaking news:
"Tan is the new pale. In pre-industrial Western society, paleness was a sign of status. Those who were wealthy enough could afford spending life indoors and under fancy hats and parasols, rather than laboring in the fields under the bright sun. Therefore, paleness was associated with an upper-class life of ease. However, the modern industrial period brought the advent of mass factory and mine labor, and by the 1920's tanned skin was now an indicator of wealth. In many areas of the world that are still pre-industrial, pale skin is still considered a sign of beauty." (From www.omg-facts.com)

I had a friend at work who was from England. She had a kind of off-center sense of humor, and called me "pale and interesting," meaning what was I doing in the house while everyone else was out getting a tan? Well, not wasting my time is what I was doing. Ive never been one to get tan. I just burn and peel, or get more freckles. I tried, believe me. Before the invention of SPF 100 I laid out in the sun during the summer to get a tan. With baby oil. I got some pretty bad sunburns, too, ouch. I did the tanning bed thing later on too, just approaching some shade of "normal." It was in nursing school when it dawned on me that with a family history of melanoma I really didnt have any business pursuing a tan. I was never going to be a Coppertone kid or a Bahama Mama.

So if you need me I'll be booking my plane ticket to the nearest pre-industrial country

There really is an app for that.

2010-09-07T06:19:00.001-07:00

I just discovered what I'd been hoping for since I started blogging. Blogger and iPhone have gotten together and now there really is an app for that! It's called blogpress and it's 2.99 in the app store. I just downloaded it today and I'm testing it out. I'll let you know what I think when I figure it all out.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Happy Labor Day

2010-09-06T05:45:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite comic strips is Garfield. This one is an oldie but a goodie. You can tell that by the way Garfield looks. If you have been a fan of his for a while you know that his look changed over the years, kind of like Madonna.

Im celebrating Labor Day....by working. I really dont mind THAT much, I have a house full of 12 year olds sprawled out on the floor after a rowdy night of birthday slumber party antics. I went to bed at 12 and said "Dont leave the house, and dont wake me up." I dont know what time they went to bed but one of them posted on facebook around 2am.

Y'all have a great day!

2010-09-04T07:58:00.000-07:00

So Drama Queen turned 12 yesterday. And we all know what that means.....party. Yay me. I dont know if your kid is like mine but she is planning next year's party before this year's party is over. What is up with that? And we can NEVER EVER do what anyone else has done because that is so....copying other people. Between DQ and Golden Boy we have come up with some good and not so good ideas for parties. One year when GB was about 5 we had a "backwards" party. The invitations were written backwards, everyone wore their clothes backwards, I even took their picture backwards. When you are 5 that is all quite hilarious. Not so much when you are 12.

Things kind of got out of hand after DQ's 9th birthday party with limo (it was cheaper than Pump it Up).I decided I couldnt outdo myself anymore (or my budget) so we started on the "every other year" plan for party. On your off year you can invite one friend over and do something fun and the other year you can have a party. But no bank-breakers.

I even tried to bribe her into not having a party. I promised to buy her a pair of rollerskates if she would trade in her party. I was foiled by her friend around the corner who gave DQ her old skates when she got a new pair. Dangit.

This year we finally agreed on a plan. She is inviting friends over to the house for pizza and cake and ice cream. The difference this year is that she is having boys. Boys. Over. To. The. House. The boys will go home and the girls will spend the night. I told her my job during the party is that I will have my ruler out and make sure that there is at least 12" between each boy and girl at all times. They may not look at or touch each other. Every time they did, Satan would kill a baby kitten.

So if you need me today I'll be the one running around waving my arms in the air frantically while BD watches football and the kids sleep late.

12? Really?

2010-09-03T07:06:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Drama Queen! It seems like yesterday you were born. I couldnt wait for you to get here and you were taking your own sweet time. Then BANG you were here. That is so you. Then you screamed for 3 months. Every. Night. You were beautiful and cute and sweet after that. I am so happy and proud to be your mom, and I have just about caught up on my sleep.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love that we can do girly stuff together like go shopping and get our nails done. I remember how you used to be afraid of Pat-the-nail-guy-who-looked-like-Charlie-Chan when he used to say "OH YOU SO PRETTY I KISS YOU." But then one day you decided it was ok and hopped up in the chair and stuck your hands out like it was nobody's business.

I love that you tell me what is going on with your life while we are driving in the car. You wont much tell me if I ask you specific questions but getting in the car is like some aerosol truth serum, you just talk and talk. About boys, about drama, about boy drama, and about the drama caused by boys. And also, about cheer.

I love that you are independent, but not too much. I can teach you to do something and you are all over it.

I love that you are a little bit like me, but not too much. You have just the right amount of spunk and personality and everyone likes being around you. Except maybe your brother but I hear that goes away after you are both adults. You pretty much tell it like it is (wonder where you get that from??).

You are blossoming (literally and figuratively)into a beautiful young woman. I love you all the way to the moon and back infinity times.

Whats In Your Purse?

2010-09-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the second edition of What's In Your Purse!

Last week I showed you my solution for eye shadow that wont crease or flake off. So put that boiled egg back in your purse and get ready for another eye makeup tip.

I have short, straight, light colored stubbly eyelashes. If I dont wear mascara I look like I have beady little eyes. And I have oily skin so I have to be careful that my mascara doesnt make black circles under my eyes like a racoon by noon. Ive tried and tried different brands and formulas over the years and this is the one I found that works best for me. And its less than $10 at the drugstore.

L'Oreal Double Extend Waterproof Mascara
First off you notice that there is a tube of stuff on each end and the brush is in the middle. Obviously one is the black mascara, so whats going on over on the other end? Im going to call it a lash primer. I used a product similar to this about 15 years ago from a department store. While it worked great it was very cost prohibitive to purchase it IN ADDITION to buying mascara. So I was excited when L'Oreal came out with this two in one product. It thickens up my short stubbly little eyelashes and makes them longer. So what I do is put the white stuff on first and then put the mascara on over it. After I put on my mascara I do the rest of my makeup routine and then finish with a second coat of just the mascara. This mascara will stay on your lashes until you are ready for it to come off. You dont need a hammer and chisel to get it off, just some eyemakeup remover or soap and water. It even stays on in the pool.

I have a friend who has tried the prescription eyelash treatments but have been hesitant because of the side effects. She is happy with it, but feel free to chime in if you have used it and let me know what you think.

Asian Coleslaw

2010-09-01T05:45:00.000-07:00

Asian Coleslaw aka Ramen Noodle Salad

1 pkg broccoli coleslaw
2 green onions
3 tablespoons butter
1 small package sliced almonds
1 package Oriental flavor Ramen noodles
1/2 cup oil (I used 1/4 cup vegetable oil 1/4 cup olive oil)
3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
3 tablespoons sugar
splash of soy sauce
juice of 1/2 lemon
salt and pepper to taste

Chop green onions and add to broccoli coleslaw in large bowl. Crush ramen noodles. Reserve noodle flavoring packet for later. Melt butter in skillet and add almonds and ramen noodles, saute a few minutes until all the butter is absorbed and the almonds look golden. Set aside to cool. In small bowl mix oil, vinegar, sugar, flavor packet from noodle package, soy, lemon juice, salt and pepper. Mix well to make dressing. Pour over coleslaw and onion mixture and stir well. Right before serving add the sauteed almonds and ramen noodles. Mix well.

Whats in your purse?

2010-08-26T07:04:00.000-07:00

No, we are not about to play Lets Make a Deal where we see who has a boiled egg in their purse. Haha. I thought (oh no there I go again with the thinkin thing) it might be fun to talk about some of the things that we couldnt live without. Well, maybe we could live without them but they make life a little better for us. I'll go first. If you have something in your makeup bag, purse, closet, or cabinet you would like to share feel free to comment or email me directly.

Im not necessarily "brand loyal" when it comes to most things. I have a few items that I will only get a certain brand of and one thing is foundation. I discovered this item after I got a makeover at the Clinique counter a few years back. I started using Clinique when I was in college. Its pretty much the only brand I can find with a shade even close to "white as a piece of paper." I'll go to the drugstore to get blush or eyeshadow or mascara but when it comes to foundation Im a Clinique girl.

Clinique Touch Base for Eyes
This cream comes in 6 different shades and is used for keeping your eyeshadow from flaking off during the day. It could also be used alone as an eyeshadow if you are not into a lot of heavy color on your eyes or are just in a hurry. It stays on and keeps your powder eyeshadow from creasing or fading. It really does make a huge difference! Its a little pricey for an eye product so I usually stock up when Clinique has a bonus because my normal foundation is a *little less* than the required price to get the free prize.

And no, Im not getting paid for this.

Word of the Day

2010-08-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

This week's Word of the Day is brought to you by Golden Boy (not to be outdone by last week's installment that was created by Drama Queen). It was a late weeknight and GB and I were giddy from rounds of flashcards featuring the table of elements ala 10th grade chemistry. You know, iron...Fe....chloride....Cl.....potassium.....K.
Sounding familiar? Ok good.

Selenium, Calcium, Sodium....I asked Golden Boy how he was feeling about it after we had been through the list several times. His reply?

"Oh its easium"

Carry on.

WOTD is back

2010-08-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

Word of the Day Wednesday is back!

Limited time only. Limited by the number of words I can think of.

Today's word is brought to you by Drama Queen. We were in the car and both of the 2 cars in front of us were square-ish. One was a minivan and one was one of those Honda Element thingies. I guess she couldnt think of any word to describe them so she made up one:

Cubular.

Thats all. Carry on.

Death Day part two

2010-08-17T16:01:00.000-07:00

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my dad's passing away (he missed Elvis Death Day by 2.5 hours). I cant believe its been 3 whole years. I havent talked much about my dad here except for that his cremains are in a jar on my piano. Long story short after my mom passed away in 2000 it was a roller coaster of ups and downs with his alcoholism and me trying to make him act right. Me beating my head against a brick wall is a pretty good description of that.

One day in June 2005 he got admitted to the hospital and got diagnosed with lung cancer, severe congestive heart failure, and emphysema all in one day. That was a very tough day. I dont have any siblings so managing his care was pretty much left up to me, though I cant discount the endless support I recieved from Big Daddy during that time. He did things for my dad that most people dont even do for their own parents, like cut his toenails, ew. Dad did well for about 1 1/2 years (about a year longer than anyone ever dreamed) and then he just gave up. He was lonely and no amount of love or care I gave him was going to change that. So on Aug 16, 2007 I told my dad that it was ok if he needed to go. I knew it would be soon because he had seen angels and deceased family members, had given me some instructions, not to mention his affairs were all tidied up in an accordion folder. But I had no idea it was going to be the next morning.

I was both shocked and relieved to recieve the phone call that he had gone. For anyone who has cared for an ill parent, it can be very very difficult to see them suffer. No matter how old you are, you still look to your parents for advice, love, care, etc. Changing that role to care for an aging parent can really mess that up. I learned a lot about myself, and about him, during the last 7 years of his life. He had just as difficult of a time accepting my help as I did giving it, frustrating us both. He wasnt a warm fuzzy person who was into hugging and kissing much but I did get to show my dad that I loved him many times during the last years of his life, and for that I am thankful. Had he died suddenly I might not have had that chance. So despite the fact that it was a great deal of suffering we both went through, it was for SOME good.

This week my best friend's son is going off to college. Zac is taking with him some of Dad's beloved Mark Twain books, and some of his furniture. I think that would have made Dad very happy that someone like Zac is enjoying his books enough to take them to college. There are things everywhere that remind me of my dad: his coffee cup in my cupboard, his keys in my bedside table drawer, his Navy jacket in my coat closet.

We miss you alot, Jack, and know that it will only be a minute in "heaven time" till we see you again.

We interrupt this blog to bring you ANOTHER orthopedic "emergency"

2010-08-17T08:26:00.001-07:00

Seems my children are getting rather cozy with the ortho docs. 3rd trip in 13 months. Drama Queen had an unfortunate accident at cheer where the floor jumped up and got her before the spotters did. And since I dont run to the doctor every time my kids skin their knee (read: horrible mother) I sat on it a few days before we went.

Also pictured, the lovely and talented Roscoe who is now going to be in our family album since we have photographed him so much. May also rate an appearance in family christmas card.

Back to your regular programming.

Death Day and Cookies

2010-08-16T03:51:00.000-07:00

Its the most wonderful time of the year.....NOT.

Those familiar with where I live know that this is a very unusual week. People from all over the world converge on our great city to commemorate the death of The King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley who died on Aug 16, 1977. I remember where I was and what I was doing when the event occurred. I was 9 years old and at my best friends house. Her mom had been making some chocolate chip cookies and we were upstairs playing when she called us down to the kitchen. She said that she had some bad news. The worst thing I could have imagined happening was that something had gone wrong with the cookies. Then she said "Elvis is dead." I remember looking over at her tiny tv that she had in the kitchen (back then only rich people had tvs in their kitchen. was my friend rich? why yes. she had a 2 story house and a tv in her kitchen) and there being a "breaking news" on.

My mother was the biggest Elvis fan I had ever met (up until then). We actually had tickets for the concert that never was. I remember seeing Elvis in concert when I was about 4 at the Mid South Coliseum. I remember thinking he was tiny as an ant. We must have been on the last row. I dont know what I expected but evidently that was not it.

I worked at Graceland one summer while I was in college. It just happened to be the 10th anniversary of his death. That was an experience, let me just say. Elvis fans are a rare breed. My mother she was a fan, but not to THIS degree. She had his records, she had some tshirts and other memorabilia. We had gone to the gravesite before he was moved to the mansion, when flowers were still there. I remember that and I have her Elvis scrapbook with the dried pressed flowers still in it. But these Elvis fans that make the pilgrimage to Graceland every year are different. To come, some from the other side of the globe, yearly for the candlelight vigil and other events is a little....weird and stalkerish if you ask me. We were required to memorize facts about Elvis in case asked. We were not allowed to talk negatively about anything related to Elvis. We couldnt even stack the cassette tapes in front of the albums for fear they might cover up his face on the cover.

Not that I dont appreciate the economic impact that these fans have on our city, dont get me wrong. There is not a hotel room to be found during Death Week. They spend money here eating out and shopping, and of course going to Graceland, which is not an inexpensive thing not to mention the cost of getting here. A great deal of the fans who come here for Death Week are not Americans.

Most of the people I know here either havent been to Graceland ever, or only have gone to take out-of-towners. When our family comes to visit and they start asking questions about Graceland and Elvis, we just roll our eyes. Oh great. The last visitors we had who wanted to go balked at the price so we only drove by and took pictures at the gate. Yeah, we narrowly escaped that one.

There arent many other people in history whose life had quite as big an impact on the world as Elvis. The whole world. And his sudden tragic unexpected death had a huge impact as well.

On some more than others. Pass the cookies.

If you're picky and you know it, raise your hand!

2010-08-14T17:07:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy and I visited a new restaurant Genghis Grill on Germantown Pkwy near Wolfchase. He had been before but I was interested to try it since I'd heard others say it was really good.

First you are seated and your server brings you an empty bowl. Our server asked if we had ever eaten there before, and even offered to go through the line with us but since BD had already experienced it and knows my quirks I just let him help me. There is a menu but its pretty much one price (9.99 for lunch, 12.99 for dinner, 3.00extra for bottomless bowl), you can pretty much skip it. There are some recipes/suggestions and cards you can take with you through the line or you can make up your own as you go, which is good for me because I can leave out what I dont like and add more of what I do.

First you pick your protein

Then you pick your vegetables. Use your skillz to pile as high as you can in your bowl. Next you select your sauce and place it in a separate bowl. They had tiny spoons ala Baskin Robbins to taste test your sauce.

Then you pass off your selections to the people who do the cooking:

You can select rice, fried rice, or noodles to go with your meat and vegetable concoction. I bet you have never seen a pile of rice this high at Shogun:

Then you sit down and your server will bring your personally selected concoction to your table. Voila! Yeah, It was good:

There's no place like home

2010-08-05T11:14:00.000-07:00

A big thanks to Random Dad for guest blogging during my recent escape to Las Vegas. He acted all humble and everything but he is really a funny guy. So now that he has set a precedent by blogging three days in a row I guess I better up my game. I'll only bore you with Las Vegas details and pictures for a short time, or until I think of something else clever and funny.

We are definitely glad to be home. We were shocked to hear that the heat index here was 124 one day. The actual temp was one degree hotter here than in Vegas. And Vegas was pretty darn hot. Of course its a "dry heat" there. Whatever. Hot is hot. It might be dry but its still like sticking your head in an oven. 101 at 5pm. Ugh.

Word of the Day Wednesday

2010-08-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

Rebuttaling - v. - the act or refuting or arguing a point.

Bill Cosby made up this word to refute reports earlier this week that he had died.

I used it this morning when told by #2 and #3 sons that their room was clean.

O Possum, Where Art Thou?

2010-08-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's still me. Don't worry though, Red will be back soon.

So last night about 10 p.m., we had a visitor at our house. My wife's dog (who I fondly refer to as Satan), was barking uncontrollably from his pen in the carport. Why is his pen in the carport you ask? Because my wife doesn't believe dogs were made to live in the elements (too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry, too whatever). So our car is in the elements and the dog is in the carport. So #1 son (birth order - not favortism - get over it #2 and #3.), heads out to see what the commotion is. He yells back in the door, "Possum." My wife jumps up because a few nights ago, when Satan was out doing his nightly business, he got into an altercation with a possum and my wife thought he was going to be eaten alive. After much screaming, crying and running around, we finally got Satan on his leash and back in his cage without him being eaten by the possum. Well evidently possums hold grudges. Possum momma returned last night and brought her young 'ens with her. So when my wife and #2 son jumped up and ran outside, #1 son left the door open and a little possum ran into the house and under the china cabinet. Hilarity ensued. My two teenage sons (thankfully #3 was already asleep) ran around like 6-year-old little girls screaming and jumping on furniture. We couldn't leave the thing in the house, so we had to come up with a plan to get it out from under the china cabinet and out of the house without breaking anything. #1 son grabbed a five-gallon bucket from outside and threw a piece of bologna on the floor. I don't know if he was expecting the possum to come out, eat the bologna, say thank you and hop into the bucket or what, but that plan didn't seem to be working. We decided on a broom and flip down dustpan. #2 son got down on the ground to see where the possum was while #1 son moved the broom back and forth under the china cabinet while I held the dust pan at the ready. Finally the little guy came out scared to death and got under a chair. The boys wrangled him into the dustpan, and we dumped him in the five-gallon bucket. We had captured the possum. Then around midnight, we had to go release him into the wild. I'm hoping none of the neighbors saw us.

No possums were hurt in the making of this blog.

Not the Redhead! Not the Redhead!

2010-08-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

Well, if you haven't figured it out from the title yet, I'm not the redhead. I am "Friend of the Redhead." While Red and BD are vacationing in an undisclosed location (let's just say "what happens there stays there"), she asked me to guest blog. Red and I go way back. We knew each other back in Jr. High (back in the days before they even had Middle Schools). We had mutual friends. BD and I went to high school together. Who knew that 20-some-odd years later we would all end up being good friends, our kids would be growing up together and that Red and my wife would be in a cult together. (That's for another post.)

Anyway, I've really been bothered by something lately. If you watch any TV in the area, you've probably seen it also. And I want to do something about it. I think we should start a telethon or have a fundraiser -- something, anything. This man needs our help. There's this little ol' white-haired man that could be any of our fathers or grandfathers. It started when he couldn't hear his grandaughter while they were outside playing soccer. Well thankfully he got a device so he could hear again, and all seemed well. But he must have stopped wearing it or something because the next time I saw him, he was needing a power chair. I don't know if he forgot to wear his hearing aid and stepped out in front of a truck or what, but now he couldn't get around without the aid of a power chair. Well, thankfully that Tom Cruse guy (not the one married to Katie Holmes) helped him out and got him one (even if his insurance wouldn't cover it). Things seemed to be looking up again. The next time I saw him though, things just went from bad to worse. He must not have been able to work because of the accident, because now he and his wife owe the IRS over $20,000 in back taxes. Hopefully this company in the latest commercial will be able to help them settle for only$1,000. At least there was some good news in the last commercial -- he was standing again and he didn't seem to be having any trouble hearing. Maybe they should sell the power chair and hearing aid on e-Bay and pay off the IRS. I'm thinking this poor guy has the worst luck of anybody. My wife thinks I watch too much TV. Anybody know how I can get in touch with Jerry Lewis?

FIRE!

2010-07-30T18:39:00.000-07:00

I was on the way home from work on Wednesday and got a text from Golden Boy....."The microwave is on fire!" Not alot I can do while driving around the 240 loop except call home and say "What up?"

Drama Queen had been making some Easy Mac in the microwave. I got home to find the top of the inside of the microwave all black and the macaroni and cheese in a molten pile on the bottom of it. Looked much like the ruins of Pompeii. I thought maybe she had neglected to get all of the foil covering off of the cup...no that wasnt it. Did she forget to remove the foil package of cheese powder from the bowl? No, there it was on the counter.

"Drama Queen, did you put WATER in the bowl like it says on the directions?"

.......long silence......."um........"

That would be a no.

The Redhead Goes to the Farmer's Market

2010-07-24T11:09:00.000-07:00

Big Daddy suggested the other day that we make a trip to the local farmer's market. I'll have to admit it was only mildly inviting. Sounded like more fun than grouting tile or flossing teeth, but not quite as fun as Target. But Im always game for some shoppin.

I was blown away. It was an ant hill of people. I dont grow things (my silk plants are shakin in their pots right now) so we completely skipped the garden center. But if you are into that, it looked like it was overflowing with seasonal vegetables, herbs, yard plants and flowers. We went mainly for the produce, since we are trying to make an effort to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. Seeing the homegrown tomatoes and cucumbers and squash took me back to my grandparents house where my Papaw used to have a garden. My grandmother "Doll" always had a jar of cucumbers and onions with vinegar over it. I always thought that was the grossest thing, but I'd love to be able to try that right out of her jar. We had a lovely conversation with one seller about tomatoes, yellow ones to be exact. I tried a yellow cherry tomato, just put it right in my mouth and ate it. It was very sweet for a tomato and not acidy at all. Very yummy. We got a big yellow tomato which will go perfect in a tomato pie.

Tonight we are going to have some eggplant parmesan and I bought some yellow crookneck squash that I'll put in the freezer for later. Big Daddy and Golden Boy were salivating over some cheddar jalapeno bread that smelled soooo good, and not too spicy for me, the wimp of the family. I heard that Thursday is bread day, get there early or there wont be any left.

We also saw a big pea-bean shelling thing. Big Daddy said used to sit out on his grandmothers front porch and turn his fingers purple by shelling some purple hull peas. No way you could compete with the volume you could shell with this thing.

Oh yeah. It was hot.

Ive got shoes.....they're made of plywood

2010-07-23T08:06:00.000-07:00

And Im loooooooooosing the soooooles........

The internet, in addition to being the FINAL authority on ALL things, is also a huge time vacuum. While nature may hate a vacuum, I'll do most anything to avoid work, responsibility, anything pretty much except breathing. So by the time I've read everyone's statuses on Facebook, and all the non-facebooker's Tweets, memorized all of the cats with captions, I have to dig deeeeep into the recesses of the internet.

www.kissthisguy.com The archive of funny misheard lyrics

You will laugh and laugh as you discover that all this time, Freddie Mercury of Queen was NOT in fact singing "The algebra has a devil for a sidekick eeeeeeeee" in Bohemian Rhapsody. Or that you only briefly thought Jimi Hendrix said "excuse me while I kiss this guy." Strangely, there are no entries for Bob Dylan. Who the heck knows WHAT he was sayin....

Slap yo momma!

2010-07-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

One of the questions I hate to hear every day is....."Whats for dinner?" I usually say something smart back like "food" or "something." Today was no exception.

I had kinda planned in my head to have some grilled chicken, and I knew I had some frozen broccoli in the freezer (like where else?). Big Daddy could cook the chicken on the grill so I got it marinating in some Italian Dressing, no biggie. He got out a box of rice and I said "no that will take 30 mins" and so when he went to fire up the grill I stood in front of the pantry and scratched my head. Then the light came on.

We had been to Costco a week or so ago scoping out the samples (thats a whole other post, the picky eater). We picked up a jar of this:

I boiled up a pot of spagetti noodles, drained them, and put them in a big pasta bowl. Then I added about 4 big spoonfulls of the Bruschetta straight out of the jar and stirred it up. As soon as the bruschetta hit the hot noodles, you could smell the garlic. Like you just walked into Olive Garden. Let me tell you, this was yummy. It gives Grisanti's Elfo Special a run for its money. It was good with the italian grilled chicken, but it would also be great with just some sauteed shrimp or mushrooms (or both). I knew it was a hit when Big Daddy found Golden Boy in the kitchen eating straight out of the pasta bowl.

Its a keeper.

Really? Really.

2010-07-20T05:28:00.000-07:00

Breaking News! Baskin Robbins is retiring five classic flavors to the "Deep Freeze" to make room for new stuff. And one of the flavors? French Vanilla. What? Yeah. French Vanilla. Thats like retiring Coke. So one man in Seattle has started a Facebook page rebelling the retirement. I mean, why cant they retire one of those disgustingly sickeningly sweet flavors like cotton candy or super sugar slap? So now when you go to your local BR to get a root beer float or banana split you'll have to pick something else. This just aint right. Call your congressman, start a petition, form a stand in, picket your local ice cream shop. This kind of heresy shouldnt be tolerated.

This one time....at band camp...

2010-07-19T05:23:00.000-07:00

Well its that time again. Time for me to get my head out of my you-know-what. Band camp starts today for GB's school and another school in our town. Its gonna be brutal, y'all! The heat, the standing, the marching, the music. But hey, its worth the hard work and sweat by the end of marching season. GB is really geeked up about it, too. And I get to play water girl on Thursday this week and one day next week!

And with the end of band camp comes school supply shopping, which I LOATHE. Id rather go to the dentist or grout my tile. But that wouldnt do much good for the kids. What I love is getting everything bought and sorted and their names on it and then they come home from school with a whole other list. Woo. Hoo. One year we had to get composition books for science lab and there Werent. Any. To. Be. Found. So I bought enough for all of Shelby county when they finally got some in at Walgreens. And what is up with getting all new stuff every year? I need new undies too, ya know. Moms always get stuff last.

Im sure school starting will bring new blog fodder. My poor readers (all 7 of you) have been so neglected! I got the smackdown Saturday night. I'll do better I promise.

Ok, carry on!

Super Sonic

2010-07-07T05:59:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday (and I mean EVERY) we stop at Sonic to get a drink on the way to church (no not the alcoholic kind but hey that might make church go by faster JUST KIDDING). And to my kid's horror we have kind of become, um, friendly with the Sonic girl. There is this one girl who works every Sunday (maybe she is stalking us, no wait, we are the ones stalking her)and over time she got to know us, yadda yadda. I try to always tip her and we gave her a Christmas present one year. You know, the things parents do JUST to horrify the children.

Mellow Mushroom

2010-07-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

My friend Stephanie and I had the opportunity to get away without kids recently and found ourselves fumbling around for something to do. So we headed down Germantown Parkway, making a few stops to shop (of course). Then of course it was time to eat! We really wanted to go somewhere we usually wouldnt go so we headed to Mellow Mushroom in Germantown (last time I went that far I almost took my passport and toothbrush). This one is located on Poplar just east of Forest Hill Irene across from Target.

It was a little after 5 on a Sunday night and we got a table right away. The place was about half full, I can imagine the same time on a Friday or Saturday night the place would be packed. Mellow Mushroom is mostly known for their pizza, but they have plenty of other selections if you arent in the mood for a piece of pie. They do have pizza available by the slice, but only on weekdays from 11-2 which I suppose is to make selections quick for people who are in for a quick lunch during the workday. I was disappointed because I would have loved to have tried a few different types of their concoctions. Their menu includes a good selection of appetizers, salads, and sandwiches. The appetizer pretzels we heard are pretty good by take 20 minutes to prepare. So we passed on that.

I picked the 10 inch Gourmet White pizza. A 10 inch was a little too much for one person, but would be great to share with someone if you each have a salad. Im not a big fan of greazy pizza and this one is right up my alley. It has olive oil, garlic, sundried tomatoes, provolone, mozzarella, feta, tomatoes, and onions. The hand tossed crust was buttery with just a hint of garlic and had the right amount of crunch to it. The pizza was veeerrrry cheeeessssyyyy. But it was light and very tasty and didnt leave me feeling like I had a brick in my stomach when I got done. I could have done with a few more tomatoes and a few less onions (they were sliced not diced which I thought was strange but whatever). I only ate 2 of the pieces and took the other 2home in a box for later.

Life Imitates Food Network

2010-07-05T14:46:00.000-07:00

This weekend while we were at Pop's for the fireworks, some Ripley tomatoes jumped out of a box and into my car. I brought them into the house and put them on the counter. They looked all pretty. Then I remembered Saturday morning watching Down Home with the Neely's on Food Network, and seeing Gina's Summer Tomato Pie. Mmmmmm. I love me some Ripley tomatoes. Grandmother used to bring us some in a bucket every summer about this time and I would make some salsa. I have a Ripley Tomato Cookbook, and one of the things I saw in there that is so yummy is a baked stuffed tomato. But that is for another post!

Copied straight from the Food Network site, here is the recipe:

Ingredients
Flour, for dusting work surface
1 (9-inch) ready-made refrigerated rolled pie crust
2 large yellow tomatoes, sliced 1/4-inch thick
1 red tomato, sliced 1/4-inch thick
8 ounces mozzarella, sliced
1/4 cup chiffonade basil leaves
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (I omitted this!)
Extra-virgin olive oil
Directions
Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Sprinkle flour on a work surface. Roll out pie dough to form a 10-inch circle and place on baking sheet. Overlap and alternate the different tomatoes and mozzarella slices in the center of the dough, leaving a 3-inch border. Scatter the basil leaves on top. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and red pepper flakes. Fold the uncovered edges of the dough inward over the filling to create a pleated crust. Brush edges and top of pie with olive oil.

Place in the oven and bake for 35 minutes. Remove from the oven to a cutting board. Slice and serve.

So here is my version....
Before

After

Got 3 thumbs up! You didnt really think Drama Queen was gonna eat that, didya? At our house we would call this recipe "a keeper."

Sunday Stealing

2010-06-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, so its not Sunday. But my hub has been giving me the smackdown about neglecting the blog. So as not to disappoint all 6 of my followers, here is all I got:

Sunday Stealing: Another Question Meme

1. It's 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely: at work, and probably not happy about it.

2. What's the last thing you spent more than $100 on? Sending my family far, far away.

3. What do your bank checks look like? Animal print

4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from? Lands End

5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list: Massage gift certificate

6. What color is your toothbrush? Green

7. Name something you collect and tell us about it. Charms for my charm bracelet. I have several silver ones, a fish, a purse, a dog, a girl, a boy. Now Im collecting glass ones that are colored. Debating about getting another bracelet so I dont have to keep rearranging the charms every time I get a new one. Pandora is the brand.

8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it? We ate mexican last night. It was ok.

9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for? My hub

10. What is your worst bad habit? im a complete slob

11. Name a magazine you subscribe to? Rachel Ray

12. Your favorite pizza toppings? Im weird. I got food poisoning from pizza once. That kind of did it for me on pizza. So if i eat pizza I like to get either veggie or margarita style which is no sauce, just some cheese, basil, tomatoes, and garlic. yum

13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book? Who knows I havent used a phone book in months.

14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most? My bff

15. What is the last thing you cooked?Memorial day we had some friends over and grilled shiskabobs and corn.

16. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used? underwear

17. Which shoe do you put on first? whichever one i pick up first

18. What is the last thing you remember losing? sanity. if found please return

19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house? I personally do not think my furniture is ugly, thankyewverymuch

20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning? Pair of shorts for my son.

21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why? I dont wear perfume because if its too strong it gives me a headache. I wear some lotion and body spray from Bath and Body Works. Ususally warm vanilla sugar or some green flavor I cant remember.

22. Your favorite board game? Scrabble

23. What was the last board game you played? Scrabble

24. Where did your vehicle come from? Bought it used from a car dealership

25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be? Somewhere My Love, the theme song from Dr Zhivago.

26. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily? My kids, my bff

27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? Yellow

28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most? bathroom

29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? With my mouth

30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is? German Chocolate

A Story....As told to me by my friend Mike.

2010-05-30T19:20:00.000-07:00

"How my day started -
Standing in front of my locker with a towel wrapped around my waist I am talking with a friend of mine. My bag is open so I mange the task of slipping on my boxer trunks when a man steps up. Since he was evidently using the locker right next to mine I slide my bag over on the bench making room for him to move in. The stranger caught my attention with a polite “excuse me” and proceeded to explain that he thought I had the wrong bag. I turned around and sure enough my bag was sitting inside the open locker. As I apologetically pushed the bag over to him I realized I was wearing his underwear! The act of trying to maintain some level of dignity while standing next to a man whose underwear you are wearing requires extreme focus. I stepped out of his boxers and carefully placed them on top of his bag."

(posted with his permission, thanks Mike!)

An Apology

2010-05-19T18:06:00.000-07:00

Over there on the right side of my blog you will see my blogroll, which is a list of blogs I read on a regular basis. And by that I mean hourly. Just kidding.

Imagine my horror when tonight I see a blog post over there--------------->>
containing some not-so-family-friendly material. I have removed that blog from my blogroll (dont let me catch you over there looking for it). And my sincere apologies if anyone unknowingly went there.

Sincerely yours,

A very embarassed redfaced redhead

Still alive....and a restaurant review

2010-05-18T14:03:00.000-07:00

Yes I am still alive. I just havent had anything funny happen or anything to write about. Its pretty much been work eat sleep lather rinse repeat.

I do want this blog just to be about every day things. Not necessarily a "mommyblog" although I will write about my kids and the funny things they do and say. Not necessarily a "foodblog" but hey, I wrote about the cake.

Today I had the opportunity to have lunch with my husband at someplace I'd never been. So today, youre getting a restaurant review. Its not newspaper worthy I'm sure, but most everyone eats out at some time or another, so here we go:

Deli Mexicana
1215 S Germantown Parkway, Germantown Tn
They have a website, click it! http://delimexicana.com/

We eat out mexican alot, primarily because its something everyone in my house will eat. The picky one, DQ, is all about some white cheese dip. Sometimes when we eat mexican its all she will get. This is not your normal mexican restaurant which lately seem to be cropping up on every corner (and is in reality "Tex-mex" if you want to get technical).We met the son of the owner who gave us the story on the place. It is owned by his dad who is from Mexico City. He opened it as a hobby and also because there just isnt any place else around like it. They dont buy any food from distributors (ie Sysco) and there is no sour cream, no cheese dip, no ground beef. Everything is market to table or farm to table. Im not the most adventuresome when it comes to ordering and he was eager to help us order from the menu. Its deli-style, so think Brooklyn-deli-meets authentic-mexican.

For a starter we had the obvious which is chips and salsa. The salsa was delightfully fresh with tomatoes and cilantro and a hint of lime. It reminded me a lot of my own salsa I make when the Ripley tomatoes are in season. I wasnt a big fan of the chips, they were a little thick but that's just my preference. Next we tried the steamed corn that was covered with cojita cheese (similar to parmesan) and red pepper. It was served on the cob with a skewer like you get from the fair. YUM YUM YUM! Very light and refreshing.

The entree section of their menu can be served either Tortuga (sandwich) or Taco style. Big Daddy ordered De Huevo con Chorizo (egg and sausage) taco style. It was plentiful with slices of avocado on top. He will have to chime in on the comments to tell what it tasted like. Haha. I ordered the De Pollo Gianajuato (roasted chicken) tortuga. It was pieces of roasted chicken served on a crusty bun type bread cut diagonally. It also had a huge slice of white cheese which was good and didnt overpower the chicken. You also got some chips, a little salsa, and a green Salsa de Aquacate Tayde which is an avocado based spicy green sauce for dipping.

It was a refreshing change from the normal mexican fare we usually have. The line to order was out the door the whole time we were there, it seems to be a really busy place for worker people having lunch. We will most definitely go back there, maybe for dinner time.

Part 2 of Stupid People Who Make Wedding Cake

2010-05-03T18:03:00.000-07:00

Lets just say that having a 16" cake was a little ambitious for this fondant virgin. Because not only do you have to roll out the fondant into a sheet the size of Texas, but you have to pick it up and get it ON the cake. Easier said than done. Got it on there, but not without holes you could drive a car through. I did my best to patch the holes and threw in the towel and hit the hay. About 1130pm

At 430am:
WWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh! Tornado sirens. Great. Ive spent a week making cake and its going to be eaten by the munchkins in Oz cause thats where we are going to end up. LOL Turned out the storm was not near us so we went back to sleep.

Had another nightmare about cake. This time I was IN the wedding AND making the cake. AND I was running late. The only thing missing was showing up and realizing I didnt have on any clothes. But wait, thats a dream for another KIND of blog! Big Daddy woke me up and said "WHAT are you dreaming about?" I said "WHAT DO YOU THINK IM DREAMING ABOUT???"

Got up and commenced making yellow circles. I discovered that polka dots cover a multitude of sins. I took every shred of leftover fondant and colored it yellow. We made circles and covered most of the places that I had to patch up. Then guess what, more tornado sirens. I said "should we take cover?" Big Daddy said "just keep working." OH great. I can read the headlines now..."Woman covered in cake discovered under tornado stricken house." The sirens they blew and didnt stop. For a couple hours. Then. The rain. I have never seen anything like the rain. It was more than pouring, it was more than buckets, it was more than cats and dogs.

Thankfully it stopped raining in time for us to leave for the wedding. We assembled the cake on site. Very. Carefully. If you have ever watched a cake challenge on Food Network where they have to move the cake from the kitchen to the table, you will understand. I was sweating down in the valley. Another good thing was that it was dimly lit where the cake was at the reception so the patch jobs didnt really show. Amber, the bride's aunt tried to bring some light over towards it. I said "oh no, dont do that!" LOL

The cake looked great and tasted delicious despite my best efforts.

My wedding cake debut...and finale....all in one!

2010-05-02T16:25:00.001-07:00

Also titled "When clueless people make wedding cake"

24 FUNFETTI cake mixes
96 eggs, separated
12 cups of oil
36 cups of water*
28 lbs of white buttercream icing
10 lbs of white fondant
3 spools of yellow ribbon
10 dowel rods
1 Ark made of gopher wood
1 Rain plan

*doesnt include water that falls from the sky

Started by making practice cake last sunday night. A 6" round cake with white fondant and yellow polka dots. I was really afraid of the fondant since I'd never used it before, but read lots and asked lots of q's at the cake decorating store. Things went well so I started baking. A total of 10 cakes (6 for the main cake and 4 for the extra cakes). I was off on Tues and Wed so I figured if I got all my baking done by Wed I could decorate on Fri nite and Sat morning.

The wedding was supposed to be outside. As Saturday got closer and closer of course they talked more and more about it on tv that it would be bad weather on the weekend. Sometimes they talk about it so much on tv that you just tune it out. Finally Friday I found out there WAS a plan B. The wedding had been moved inside. Whew.

I got a surprise snow day (and by that I mean "hey we arent busy on Thursday so can I pleasepleasepleaseplease be off?")on Thursday so I had an extra day to get the baking done. GB had a band concert that night so I knew I wouldnt be able to decorate till Friday night. I'd dreamed (read: had nightmares) about cake by this point, and caused others to dream about it, too. I got off work an hour early on Friday and came straight home and started on it. Immediately I realized I had made a few mistakes, and I'll chalk them up to inexperience.

Firstly when I do a cake I usually bake it a few days ahead and freeze it. Then I decorate it still frozen (notice I say "it" because usually there is just ONE, not TEN!). This locks in all the moisture and it doesnt dry out. Well I didnt have anywhere to put 10 cakes, 6 of which were the size of Tennessee. So I just wrapped them in plastic and set them on the dining room table. They did stay moist. So much so that when I went to assemble the cakes they broke. Because #1 they werent frozen and #2 they were HUGE.

Secondly I think I got a little over confident about the fondant. Rolling it out like play-dough is not that hard when you are covering a 6" cake. But rolling out a sheet the size of Texas to cover a 16" cake, and then getting it ON the cake is a whole other chinese fire drill. I planned a big cake because I was told 300 people.

I iced the 2 extra cakes (after I got them assembled) pretty easily. One had a huge crack in the top, but I wasnt sweating it because the extra cakes were for cutting and not for viewing by the general public. Then we went to eat mexican food. I was doing absolutely everything I could do to avoid that fondant. This includes eating cheese dip, entertaining 2 11yearold girls, and sweating large torpedo size bullets!

Thats a picture of my practice cake. Isn't it cute?

Stay tuned for part 2

FIRE! FIRE!

2010-04-27T18:47:00.000-07:00

Today I was up to my elbows in Funfetti when GB came into the kitchen to cook some french fries in the toaster oven. I didnt see him turn it on, but I heard a noise coming from that corner of the kitchen and I turned around just in time to see A FIRE INSIDE THE TOASTER OVEN! I yelled FIRE! FIRE! GB replied "huh?" from down the hall. I grabbed the flour and a scoop and threw a cup of it in to put out the fire. Whew. Then I took the toaster oven outside. It was stinky.

So the toaster oven? She is toast.

CAKE!

2010-04-26T16:50:00.000-07:00

My BFF's daughter is getting married this Saturday and somehow or another I volunteered to do the wedding cake. And by that I mean that I was briefly inhabited by aliens and didnt have any control over my bodily functions. No, really, this friend is my dearest, best friend in the world and I am thrilled to be a part of this special day for their family. I have done lots of cakes, but never a wedding cake. I've done one "weddingish" birthday cake, it was 3 tiers with columns. But never for. A. Real. Wedding. Inhale.......exhale.....

In all seriousness it is going to be a funfetti cake with white fondant and yellow polka dots (fondant is the rolled icing that you see on Ace of Cakes or Cake Boss).I worked with the fondant for the first time yesterday and it really is not too difficult to work with. So I bought 17 funfetti cake mixes yesterday at Kroger. Bought all they had. I havent figured up exactly how many more mixes I need, probably around 10 more.

I have dreamed about cake twice in the past 2 weeks. One dream was that instead of the polka dots I put baby pictures of the bride and groom all over the cake. I told the groom's mother about this dream and she said "That would be....different." HAHA!
One friend on facebook even dreamed about cupcakes last night after I posted about the cake!

I will post lots of pictures when it's all done.

Word of the Day Wednesday #8

2010-04-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

Mondaze

The fog that takes you half a day to shake off because its Monday.

Word of the Day Wednesday #7

2010-04-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

Redneck Teleprompter

Crib notes written on a public speaker's hand in order to remind him or her what to say during a speech or interview.

Dang, I thought that was called Mississippi Palm Pilot (never runs out of battery, screen never breaks, OS never crashes....)

NOT LISTENING!!!!

2010-04-13T06:20:00.000-07:00

see more

This just cracked me up.

Im done now.

Dixie Carter, You Will be Missed

2010-04-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite shows to watch is Designing Women starring Dixie Carter who passed away this weekend at the age of 70. Her portrayal of interior designer Julia Sugarbaker was powerful and empowering at the same time and is probably her most memorable television role. She portrayed a genteel old-south southern woman, not in a fiddle-dee-dee Scarlet O'Hara sort of way, but in a "pump you up and then dress you down before you knew what hit you" sort of way. This video is one of Julia's most popular rants, and features her husband Hal Holbrook. Despite her liberal ramblings on the show, she was a Republican and made the producers promise that for every liberal rant on the show she would be allowed to sing on a future episode.

Dixie not only was a fabulous tv actress but also had an amazing singing voice. Who can forget her rendition of "O Holy Night" She also performed on Broadway, most recently in "Thoroughly Modern Millie" in 2002.

She was born in McLemoresville, Tennessee and she and her husband spent half of their time here in Tennessee and the rest at their other home in Beverly Hills, CA. She attended University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Southwestern at Memphis (now Rhodes College), and Memphis State University (now University of Memphis).

We will miss you, Dixie.

www.halfoffmidsouth.com

2010-04-07T18:32:00.001-07:00

(Caution! Shameless promotion of husband ahead!)

My hub has a promotion at his work which sells restaurant (and sometimes other things like oil changes or car wash, etc) gift cards for half off. He is the "face" of the promotion (see! his picture is up there^) and appears on the tv commercials promoting it on his station. It is doing really well and we get lots of comments from friends who have purchased them and liked it. Hey, eating out for 1/2 off is not bad!

Stop by the website www.halfoffmidsouth.com and see what is available. The selection changes every so often so bookmark it. I know he is adding Carwash USA soon (50.00 gift card for 25.00). He also has a facebook fan page, if you're into that.

Word of the Day Wednesday #6

2010-04-07T08:16:00.000-07:00

Bi-Surgical:

Nurses who work in Same Day Surgery who learn to work in Recovery Room, and vice versa. Um, yeah they go both ways.

Yummy goodness

2010-04-06T11:09:00.000-07:00

After I took GB to the doctor yesterday to confirm his diagnosis of being a sick puppy(no they didnt put a cast on his neck. dangit), we headed over to the giant red bullseye store (rhymes with blarget) to get his prescription filled. He mentioned that he felt like he could eat a little something so I stopped over at this place to get some yummies. I dont know what it is about this place, but this song pretty much sums it up. And yes, the strongest urges to eat here are always on the day that they are closed.

Got a sick one.....now with parenthesis!

2010-04-04T19:20:00.000-07:00

Got a sick kid (GB, sore throat, maybe strep). My kids arent sick much, and when they are, they arent sick long. They both had pneumonia one winter back to back (or "the ammonia" as DQ called it) and that totally was enough. I had had enough of sickness (I know, the irony, Im a nurse) and was so ready when they were well and both back to school. Mercy, it is not my gift. Yes it is true that I made GB march in a Christmas Parade with walking pneumonia (or "marching pneumonia" as the pediatrician called it). And he was the Drum Major so not only did he have to march in the parade with pneumonia, but he had to do it BACKWARDS. I lost my Mother of the Year trophy shortly after that. Hey, we didnt KNOW he had pneumonia till after the parade, ok? Yes I DID TOO take him to the doctor.

But you know its bad when the kids are ready to go back to school, and even sick of being home.

GB informs me of this tonight when I say Im taking him to the doctor in the morning (Im up for Mother of the Year, again). "I cant miss more than 3 days or I wont be exempt from my exams."

Im thinkin I wont be able to hear him once they put that cast around his neck.

Dad in a Jar. Now, With Added Irreverence!

2010-04-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

My dad, like my mom, had severe COPD and was on oxygen at home for almost a year. Eleven months to be exact. He loathed the oxygen, despite the fact that it let him be somewhat independent. He tripped over the tubing (which would almost stretch from his house to Walmart and back) several times. When he would curse it I would threaten to seal it up in his urn with his ashes for all of eternity. Boy, that really got him going.

He almost met with a premature self-inflicted cremation when he forgot he was wearing the oxygen and lit up a cigarette. My mother did it several times with no results but my dad was not so lucky. I was not present at the time (but would have loved to be a fly on the wall) and he tried very hard to cover it up. Except for the Hitler-ish soot marks on his upper lip. And the scorched oxygen tubing that I found on the floor days later that looked like a rolled up piece of black duct tape. That little incident bought him a couple days in the hospital with thermal damage to his lungs. And lots of chuckles and eye rolling from the hospital staff I'm sure.

When my dads ashes were ready for pickup I got a phone call from the funeral home "Mrs Arthur your father has arrived." I said "Oh if he just walked in off the street we got trouble." You could hear crickets chirping on the phone. "Im on my way."

They presented the marble urn to me, complete with tote bag (free with $100 purchase?) and death certificates. And an envelope. "This is in case you want to take him on an airplane" the funeral director said. "Um, Im not planning on taking him on vacation" I replied. Again, crickets chirping. "Well some family members like to scatter the ashes and this proves they are legal human cremains" (a creepy word, dontcha think?) "OH! I got it! This is my permit to carry!"

"Lady, we just dont get people around here with a sense of humor."

I guess not.

Is this your special day?

2010-04-01T05:16:00.000-07:00

Once I had a random someone from work (a male voice) call my husband's voice mail to say "Call Mr Lyon at xxx-xxxx," and left the number of the local zoo. When they answered he said (Im sure he didnt catch them say Memphis Zoo) "May I speak to Mr Lyon" they said "Really? Do you know what day it is?" They didnt think it was funny. But I did!

Happy April Fool's Day everyone!

Word of the Day Wednesday #5

2010-03-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

Floordrobe

Where you put your clothes when you come home from work instead of the closet or the hamper.

We interrupt this blog to bring you an orthopedic emergency

2010-03-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

And by that I mean "it was hurting since last week."

Golden Boy had been complaining since last week that his hand was hurting. Now Im not one who rushes to the doctor every time my kids have a sniffle. But he'd been complaining about it for several days and despite my expert medical treatment (here take an Aleve) it wasnt any better. So off we went to the after hours clinic at the big bone doctor that rhymes with Shambell.

They did some xrays (one with him making an OK sign with index finger and thumb. whats next? shadow animals on the wall?) and the best they could come up with was a sprained or strained ligament on the side of his hand. So that got him a cast for 3 weeks and a recheck on tax day. The lovely robin's egg blue cast, just in time for Easter, was applied by the wonderful and friendly Roscoe, who just retired from my hospital after a bazillion years. He was very sweet to GB.

Yeah. That'll teach him to complain about something hurting. What? You've got a sore throat? Lets put a cast on it.

Parents in a jar

2010-03-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

Caution: irreverence ahead.

Some of you may know that in the last 10 years I have lost both my parents. NO, I did not just lay them down and walk off and forget. Like, they both passed away. Got it? Ok good.

My mother, she wanted to be cremated. How ironic, I thought, since she smoked like a chimney. So following her wishes she was cremated and placed in a beautiful pink cloissonne urn which lived in my parents back bedroom for about 7 years. I often wondered, how do you know that its Mom in there? How do you know they didnt just scoop up a big pile and really its some of Mr Jones and some of Mrs Smith and some of Mom? What would it matter? Its only ashes anyway.

She stayed in my parents back bedroom ("my mom, she doesnt get out much") until my dad moved into the assisted living. I took her to live with me after that. Funny thing was that on the way to my house, the urn fell over and the lid came off and it rolled all around the back of the van. But have no fear, she was all sealed up in a ziplock bag and arrived at my house a little shaken up but intact.

Yeah my dad he was cremated too. Thats a story for another post.

Word of the Day Wednesday #4

2010-03-24T15:00:00.001-07:00

Sarchasm

The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Thankyewverymuch

Teaching your children to drive

2010-03-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

Golden Boy is now old enough to learn how to drive. I got him a copy of the Tennessee Drivers Manual and told him he could not take his test to get his permit until he had read it. He has not opened it. Im fine with it. Im not that excited about unleashing my kid on the streets when he turns 16 nor am I excited about the prospect of what car insurance is going to cost for him. The requirements are a lot stricter now than they were when I turned 16 (and knew everything there was to know, by the way). And Im glad, it takes some of the pressure off of the parents making the rules. I can just blame it on TDOT.

He has, however, been practicing on the road. I say on the road, what I really mean is empty parking lot. Less targets to hit, maybe just a curb or something. He drives pretty well actually. Its the braking he has trouble with. Im surprised the imprint of my forehead is not permanently ingrained in the dashboard. Lets just say that braking is something you have to have a "feel" for. I guess you could say he's not feeling it.

So far, I have not lost my cool. Yet. But evidently just a few practice sessions has made him into some driving Barney Fife. "You're going too fast." "You didnt stop enough at that stop sign." "You didnt use your blinker." Whats up with that? The fact that you sat in the driver's seat a few times does not make you a driver any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car.
Well at least he would be stationary.

Drama Queen

2010-03-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well of course I had to write a post about the Drama Queen, I cant be accused of showing favortism. My other child is an 11 year old going on 20. If she had been first, she would have been an only. Where Golden Boy did everything just as the books said, Drama Queen took the book and threw it in the trash, after stomping on it and shredding it and lighting it on fire. She was 3 days late getting here but when she got ready to come out she didnt wait on nobody. If I had waited around any longer at home she would have been born there. And then she screamed for the next 3 months.

It seemed as though as soon as she could walk she was stomping her feet and slamming doors. She absolutely HATED it when we would laugh at her when she was preschool age, about 3-5. She would say or do something cute and we would laugh and she would get mad and cry. It hurt her feelings that we were laughing at her. We tried to explain that it wasnt HER we were laughing at, but what she DID, but to no avail. She finally grew out of it.

Things dont come quite as easily for Drama Queen. She has to work hard in school and is not that musical, although she does sing pretty well. Where she excels is all things physical. She played soccer and softball for church, and has cheered for 5 years. I wanted both my kids to have "a thing" something they enjoyed doing either as a hobby or something that could morph into a career, and that is her thing. She does get tired and complainy sometimes but stays motivated and that is alot to say about an 11 year old. She has learned the value of teamwork and committment. It might not end up being a career, but it could pay her way to college and that is not too shabby!

I guess one of the best things about being a Mom is looking at your kids when they arent watching and just being blown away by their pure beauty. Im so thankful for a beautiful precious daughter like her.

Word of the Day Wednesday #3

2010-03-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

Hats off to my husband for coming up with this one. We were having a conversation one day and he said it and went on, no clue that it wasnt a real word. I just busted out laughing (remember, no filter). From that day on we have teased him about this word, and its become kind of a joke. Sometimes I call him "Dubya" and I even got him a page a day calendar of Bush-isms.

Disastrophy

Disaster+Catastrophe

And the hits just keep on coming.....

Golden Boy

2010-03-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

My son, referred to here on the blog as Golden Boy, is 15 years old and a freshman in high school. We call him Golden Boy because he is one of those people who masters everything pretty much without any effort (well everything but rollerskating, thats for another post).Everything he touches turns to gold. He started singing pretty well when he was a young lad in preschool. I picked him up one day from preschool and his teacher said "Cody sings so well!" "Yes, I know" I replied. "NO, he sings REALLY well" He will hate that I told this but he once was obsessed with Disney movies. One that he was especially into was Little Mermaid. He would play with his Little Mermaid figurines and sing the aria that Ariel does when the evil sea witch Ursula was stealing her voice. aaahaaaaAAAAAH, aaaahaaaAAAH, aaaahhaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! And pretty much spot on, to my naked untrained ears. Kinda made me want to puke.

He sang his first solo in church at 5 years old "Happy Birthday Jesus." Yes he was in Kindergarten and there wasnt a dry eye in the house when he was done. Well now he had set a precedent. So his major feat in first grade was recording a the children's solo in a song on a CD with our adult choir at church. He just happened to lose one of his top teeth a few days before the recording and I was so afraid he would whistle when he sang words with "s" in them, but he did not. It is such a joy for me as a mom for him to use his talent like that for the Lord.

He started playing piano in 2nd grade and the french horn in 6th grade. (Yes this is a big commercial for my son so if you dont like it, just go to the next blog and come back tomorrow, I'll have something else witty to say.) Along the way he has been in some musicals locally such as The Music Man (once as Winthrop and once as Marcellous), Alice in Wonderland, and Seussical to name a few. He gets really embarrassed when people make over him and really doesnt like to get up in front of people so being in productions has really helped him with this. He certainly doesnt have an "Im better than you" attitude and for that I am very proud. He has also made All-Southwest Honor Choir 3 years, this year not even being a member of the chorus at school and just learning the music on his own (and with a little help from his first piano teacher and childrens choir director). The boy just never ceases to amaze me.

It's amazing to me how so much talent is in that boy considering his parents. To say that we are just your average choir members would pretty much sum us up. His gifts are truly straight from God and I hope I'll be around to see him use them for God's glory for many years to come.

Creepy Internet Friends

2010-03-10T19:06:00.000-08:00

Ive been stalking, uhh, reading blogs for about 5 years now. Its pretty weird how you feel a connection with the bloggers. One of my favorite haunts is Busymom. If you havent read her yet, you must do so STAT, she is pretty darn funny. Well, when you get through here I mean. She is a nurse, has kids, is an only child (hold the spoiled kid comments, thanks), and lost a parent to lung cancer. I had commented on her blog and we had emailed several times, so when I found out I was going to be passing through her town, I asked her if she would like to meet. Much to my surprise, she said yes!

This trip that took me through her town was actually an annual trip I take every year with the handbell group at church. Its a handbell festival, and we try to squeeze in as much handbell ringing that we can while shopping. Ok stop laughing it really is fun. So we are on the bus headed to festival and I tell my peeps that Im meeting a friend from the internet at our first shopping stop. They pretty much proceeded to freak out. "YOURE WHAT?" "What if its not really a woman? What if its a 20 year old loser guy who lives in his mom's basement?" This was just a mom like me, not an axe murderer! They were most concerned, especially for my safety. I wasnt. We were meeting in the middle of a mall, for crying out loud! What could go wrong?

We made phone contact and made a meeting time and place in the mall. She was delightful to meet and we sat and talked for about 45 minutes on a bench at the mall. Meanwhile my friends were circling like vultures around some roadkill. They made me promise to use a secret codeword in case I felt like I was in danger. One of them suggested the codeword and just said to work it into my conversation and they would hear me and come rescue me. The secret codeword? Sickle cell anemia! "Well, Busymom, I gotta run. Im feeling bad and I might be coming down with sickle cell anemia."

Glad I didnt have to use it.

Word of the Day Wednesday #2

2010-03-10T06:04:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my 2nd installation of Word of the Day Wednesday. Seein as how I live in the south (and so do most of my readers), Im sure this word will bring a few people to mind:

Reintarnation

Coming back in a second life as a redneck.

No names mentioned.

Im Real....

2010-03-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

One thing I've heard lots of people say about me (among other not so repeatable things Im sure) is that Im real. Probably a little TOO real. I have a big mouth, but no filter. Sometimes I probably need a zipper.

I just completed a 2 phase project at work that involved a lot of learning on my part. Not just knowledge type learning, but learning to keep my mouth shut and be politically correct. Lets just say THAT was a huge learning curve for me. If you ask me my opinion about something you are pretty much going to get it. I had to learn when to speak and when to keep my mouth shut and save my real opinion for the "meeting after the meeting." Lets just say I learned that the corporate world is better left to someone else. I couldnt wait to get back to being just a regular ole nurse.

The upside of being real is that you will always know where you stand with me. I dont sugarcoat things, what you see is pretty much what you get. It means I wont ever be "Nurse of the Year," but oh, well.

I guess its the small price I pay for being real.

Danke Schoen

2010-03-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

Got a shout out this week from the awesome RevKev, a friend from way back! He is very funny, and blogs about his everyday stuff and also being a Minister of Music in the hoppin metropolis of Humbolt. Im sure that all of my followers have read him (all 4 of you, himself included) but all you lurkers out there (yes you the one not making eye contact) might want to stop by and get your giggles on.

Tip of the day

2010-03-05T17:47:00.000-08:00

iPhone: $199.00

Otterbox case for iPhone: $40.00

Trippin over microscopic grain of concrete and landing Superman style on the sidewalk with your iPhone face down but SCRATCH FREE: Priceless

Scavenger Hunt Time

2010-03-04T08:00:00.001-08:00

Ok, you totally have to do this:
(yes, you, in the back. over to the right. yes, you. do it. because I said, ok?)

Go to www.google.com and in the search window enter "where do I find Chuck Norris" and instead of "google search" hit "I'm feeling lucky." Go. Do it. NOW. I'll wait.

(humming jeopardy theme song......)

That totally cracked me up. And you know you laughed, too.

Word of the Day Wednesday #1

2010-03-03T08:00:00.000-08:00

When I was off on my adventure for months and months away from bedside nursing my partner made up a word one day in casual conversation describing a situation that had happened at her home. Evidently her 15 year old daughter had snuck in a boy while mom was not at home and on the verge of being caught had to shuffle the boy out the door, and then jumped into bed to pretend she was sleeping. In the course of telling me the story she said her daughter had not one ounce of...

SNEAKATIVITY......

I asked her, "Is that a word?" She said "Yeah, I just made it up!"

And word of the day was born. A week or so later I got a dry erase board and put it on our office door. Some days Word of the Day was something someone had said in casual conversation that was funny, or something I had to dig to come up with. Soon our coworkers were stopping by our office to ask what the word of the day was, followed by strangers getting off the elevator and making comments about them. When we were remiss in posting our word of the day, we heard about it!

So Partner/Sister, thanks for creating our first word of the day and starting a tradition that made a lot of people laugh.

You like me! You really like me!

2010-03-02T17:33:00.000-08:00

Wow. Im blown away! I tried the blogging thing before but gave up because, well, no one read it but me. But now blogging is better known (everybody is doin it) and its easier to get the word out via Twitter and Facebook. I installed a statcounter to just see exactly who my fans, er, readers are. So yes, I know who you are, all 6 of you! And look! I have FOUR followers over there------------------------------------->>>

Yes, one is my husband. He does TOO count! No, I did not sign up on google as him and follow myself. But, um, hey thats a good idea!

Truly I am humbled and flattered.

p.s. Dont be afraid to leave a comment. As long as its something repeatable in mixed company, that is.

Beware!

2010-03-01T16:43:00.000-08:00

Ladies BEWARE....................

This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet and an explanation to those friends and family who have. Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, the kidney story was a hoax but this one is real. It's happening every day. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs that have the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine. I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. However, they attached it badly -- at least three inches lower than my original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish. Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?

My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. I now realize where those surgeons are getting their replacement parts. They really aren't plastic like they claim. The next time you suspect someone has had a face 'lifted,' look again. Was it lifted from you??

I think I finally found my thighs and I hope that Cindy
Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Dating....Again

2010-02-28T12:29:00.000-08:00

A couple years ago I heard these words that girls dread: "Im leaving." My heart fell, tears welled up in my eyes, I felt hot all over. We had known each other since 8th grade, parting ways after high school for a few years, then hooking back up while I was in nursing school. We had history, we had friends together. We had been through some tough times and some good times together. From the outside it may have seemed to a casual onlooker that I just sat back and let the other person do all the work, that it was all about me and looking good, but I paid my price, trust me. And then some. I couldnt believe it was about to all fall apart.

Yes, my hairstylist was moving to another town.

She and I did go way back. We cheered together in junior high, and worked our first jobs together under the golden arches. One time, and I really love telling this story, we were spending the night together at her house doing what all junior high aged girls do. Fixing each other's hair. Prophetic, dont you think? Anyway she was curling my hair and accidentally dropped the curling iron in my lap. On. My. Bare. Legs. Ouch. Reflexively I closed my legs together to catch the curling iron. Of course I got a horrible burn on the inside of one of my thighs, just above the knee. It looked as if someone with giant burning lips had kissed me on the leg. How embarassing to be an 8th grade cheerleader in a 7th-12th grade school in a short skirt with this huge disfiguring mark. Needless to say, she never curled my hair again.

I'd had a string of short relationships with hairstylists. I'd even committed HAIRSTYLIST ADULTERY going to a walk in place (one rhymes with Hamtastic Hams, another one Poopercuts), and even taking my hair into my own hands and trimming my own bangs when I couldnt get an appointment. But I would always tuck tail and run back, beg for forgiveness, a shampoo, cut and style. We had made some bad decisions together (a perm or two, and an assymetrical cut ala Molly Ringwald) but there was just a comfort, a security there. I could get my hair cut and make my next appointment for 5 weeks, lather, rinse, and repeat.

So here I was, unwillingly thrust back into the hairstylist dating scene. Its brutal, and scary to say the least. I went to a few of the mall based high priced places and got cheap temporary thrills, only to wake up the next day broke and longing for that connection that you can only get with a regular relationship. So in a moment of desperation I did the only thing I hadnt tried. A site with hundreds if not thousands of connections online.

Yes, I posted an urgent request on Facebook.

I got a response from a friend within minutes. I could try her hair guy, here's the number...... She had been with him for years, he was great, she said. I took the bait. He could see me the next day. Now I tend to be impulsive when it comes to hair (sometimes without such a great result such as the Bozo The Clown Haircolor Fiasco of Fall 2009 but that is another post), but next day was acceptable. This was the most promising of any offer I'd had and I didnt want to blow it. I had to be cool, not appear desperate, even though I was.

I'd been with other men before. Let me just say there is NOTHING in this world like a guy cutting your hair. Who else knows what looks good on a girl than a guy? I mean seriously. I had a short fling with one guy. He was young, cute, but played for the other team ifyouknowwhatimean. He did me up right, girl. But he moved to a new shop farther away and jacked up his prices. Staying with him might mean giving up satellite tv or diet coke, and thats just not how I roll. But the hair goddesses were shining down on me the next day when I went for my appointment. The salon, which has the word "couture" in it (whats that mean, anyway?), is very sleek and bright and high class looking, not all high trafficky like going to the mall. I liked him already!

I showed him my picture of what I wanted my hair to look like (been carrying it around in my dayrunner for years, if I lose it I guess I have to go all Sinead O'Connor) and he was good with it.
He shampooed my hair himself (no extra shampoo girl to tip)and got to cuttin. Having a mutual friend helped with conversation. He is straight, funny, married, has kids, coaches football, and plays guitar in a band. I couldnt ask for more. I was in hair love at first appointment.

We are still in the hair honeymoon period. I'm thinking it might be time to take it to the next level, cut AND COLOR, which means I'll not do it on my own anymore and let him completely take care of me. Its perfect, actually. He always returns my calls and we are even facebook friends now!

And yes I am happily married in real life to an awesome husband of almost 20 years. I shudder to think what its like out there in the real dating world. Hairstylist dating was almost enough for me to live in a hair monastery.

Come on in. Take your coat off and stay a while!

2010-02-28T12:23:00.001-08:00

Welcome to my blog! I've been a blog reader for many years, lots of different kinds of blogs. Nurse blogs, mommy blogs, cooking blogs, humor blogs, so many I cant remember. I guess its a voyeristic thrill, looking into the lives of strangers. This will be my contribution, my open window if you will, for the world to look at me. Not that I have that much thats fun or entertaining or anything.

Im just a regular person. People tell me all the time that Im funny. I love to laugh and to make people laugh. Not in a stand up comic sort of way, but in a "I like being around her" kind of way. My BFF's husband commented to her once, "I can tell when you are talking on the phone to her because you are always laughing." And of course I love to be AROUND people who laugh. No one wants to be around a sourpuss.

So come back often, invite your friends. I hope we will have some fun here.